walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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