Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
