K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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