how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
