Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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