So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
