I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
