I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Sober January is a disaster.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I need to calm my uterus...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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