Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
