oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Less talking, more tequila
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
