...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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