i would punch a child for taco bell
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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