sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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