Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
