we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
