Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize