so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
