if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do vagina's smell?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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