I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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