I wish i was in the wii world.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
