Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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