How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
