but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
