i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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