1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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