a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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