Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
