So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
