you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
