I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
