ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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