i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
