Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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