The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
