Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
