chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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