Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
