Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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