I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
