whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
nutella sex= disaster
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
