You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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