Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
