Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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