I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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