Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Everything about him screamed your future.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
