Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
