Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
