Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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