There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
