we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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