Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize