So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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