That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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