so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
