he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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