Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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