she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize