Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
